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You are a Mother.

May 13th, 2012 by symmetricmom

Today, we celebrate Mothers.

It doesn’t matter whether you work full time, stay home, work from home, foster, or are an empty nester.

It doesn’t matter if you have one child or twenty.

It doesn’t matter if you are infertile and will never have a child.

If you have ever held a newborn and felt that “one day” feeling come over you, you are a mother. If you watch someone’s child for them, whether regularly or on a special occasion, you are a mother. If you have taught children, you are a mother. If you have ever delighted in the joy of another mother’s triumph or held her as she grieved, you.are.a.mother.

You don’t have to give birth to be a mother. You don’t have to be a wife to be a mother. If you are a woman, you have a mother’s heart.

Today, I want to celebrate all women. Those who have children, those who have lost children, and those who pray that one day they’ll be called “Mama.”

You are all beautiful. You are all loved.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Posted in Awesome People | 1 Comment »

Celebration!!

May 10th, 2012 by symmetricmom

{not my kid}

Sorry to get all mom-blog on here but I just had to share (and hopefully not curse) the news that our 3 year old is potty trained!!

It seemed like forever of asking if he wanted to try to wear underwear (which he donned “panties” a la “look at my batman panties, Mama!”) and after about 2 weeks and only a few accidents, he is now doing his business in the potty and for the first time ever we only have ONE child in diapers in this house!

Hallelujah!

OK, back to regular posts about whatever it is I post about. Later!

Posted in Celebrations, Kids | 1 Comment »

Appreciation.

May 9th, 2012 by symmetricmom

There was a time in my life where this word mostly referred to the value of a home.

This week, it refers to Teacher Appreciation Week!

Though quite skeptical about sending my first baby off to public school this year, I have seen her blossom and grow into a lovely little lady and I know that is because of the staff at her school. Every time I go in to have lunch, drop something off or read to M’s class, we are greeted with happy faces from not only the teachers, but the staff and students — from the front desk to the custodians. My daughter knows all of their names and they are always smiling. The lovely lady at the front desk always has hugs and stickers for my little boys and it’s just a joy to go there.

M’s teacher is fresh out of college and has so much patience with the kids and so much control over her class that I am amazed she is only 22 years old. She and the Teacher Assistant are wonderful to work with and very diligent with their communication with the kids and the parents. I honestly don’t know how she does it!

I also have some teacher friends that aren’t as lucky to have supportive staff, parents, and students. And I really feel for them this week and will continue to until they get the support they deserve. It’s HARD being an educator, I know because I’m the daughter of one and the friend to several.

If you are a parent out there whose child goes to a school — any school — make sure you thank their teacher sometime this week. It’s not easy to wrangle children (and parents) all day long but it is so, SO easy to say “thank you” to the people that make our children better, smarter people.

I am taking about 60 cupcakes in to the school tomorrow, along with a gift card for a raffle. If you are a teacher and haven’t gotten anything, I want you to have a virtual cupcake but more importantly, I want you to know that YOU are appreciated. What YOU are doing every single day in your classroom MATTERS. Thank You.

 

Posted in Awesome People, Celebrations, Community | 1 Comment »

Refrigeration and Road Trippin’

May 5th, 2012 by symmetricmom

Yep, that’s what this weekend is full of!

Today, B and I embarked on a journey we have never experienced before in our 9 years of marriage…we bought our first appliance together! Crazy, isn’t it? Our first home (actually, condo) together was brand new and came with all brand new appliances.

Me standing in our first kitchen, circa 2003:

I know I have a picture of the kitchen finished, but it can’t seem to find me so I will move on.

Our first house here in NC also came with all of the appliances, including this very old refrigerator, quite older than our house (kitchen is no longer red):

It’s lasted us almost 6 years but in recent months we’ve noticed water coming out of it, sometimes quite a bit going across the kitchen floor in the mornings. Having decided to stay here in this house for a few more years and knowing we would eventually like stainless appliances, we hired a sitter for the morning and headed to the Sears Outlet to start looking there. Long story short, after scouring the huge Sears Outlet, making a quick run through HHGregg, and then pit stopping at Panera for a bite to eat, we found ourselves back at Sears buying a Whirlpool Gold, Stainless Steel, 22 Cubic foot Bottom Freezer Refrigerator that has a few dents on the side so was discounted from $1500 down to $900! Here’s what she looks like!

I’m so excited for this beauty to come join our family. She comes Monday!

In other news, tomorrow morning I embark on a quick 24 hour trip to D.C with a good friend to pick up another good friend just returning from a semester in Prague. I haven’t taken a girls-only road trip in a very very long time so even thought it is short, I’m really looking forward to it! And, when I come home I’ll have a new refrigerator waiting for me!!

Hope y’all have a great weekend!

Posted in Awesome People, Community, House | No Comments »

12:42pm

May 2nd, 2012 by symmetricmom

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Not even half of the day is over and I’ve had a hell of a morning so far. Seriously. Sometimes I just want to laugh when people see me out somewhere with all of the kids and ask/say “I don’t know how you do this?!”

Some days, I don’t know either.

Obviously, some days I do it better; meaning the house gets somewhat clean, we all eat at least one meal, laundry gets at least through the dryer if not folded, the kids don’t get yelled at, and we all like one another at the end of the day.

Today started out as one of the days where I wasn’t sure we’d all be alive at the end of the day. I wanted to call my husband about 100x and have him come home just to help me wrangle the kids. Before 9am, I was locked out of the house by the 4 year old while looking for flip flops for the 3 year old. She thought it was funny. I didn’t. Luckily she had school this morning so after I dropped her off, we went to the gym so I could get my heart rate up to 170 and get some of the angst out.

Having just the boys at home for a few hours is usually a breath of fresh air, but no-no, not today. There was fighting. Over baby dolls. There was food throwing. There was tantrum throwing. So I turned on the TV for a 12 minute episode of “Bananas in Pajamas” so I could at least wipe down the bathroom sinks and mirrors. Cue extreme hysterics. So I come downstairs and find my 3 year old son hitting — no whaling on — my 1 year old’s back. The poor little guy couldn’t even move.

That was at 12:42pm today. And apparently 12:42pm today was time for Mommy to do… something. NO clue what. But there were way too many hours left in the day to keep it going on like this.

So I disciplined my 3 year old, who is now very aware that we don’t use our hands to hurt. I cuddled my 1 year old and rubbed his hurt little red back. I changed out of my sweaty gym clothes and into a dress and makeup so my husband would think I was pretty when he got home (and so I would feel pretty) and off we went to get the 4 year old from pre-school. But first, I stopped and got some frozen coffee because, ya know what? I deserved it.

This day is no longer shot to hell. Not on my watch. My kids are healthy and (mostly) happy, I love my family, God loves my family even MORE, and that is all that matters. If all we have at the end of the day is one another, I’m OK with that.

So anyone out there reading this who has ever wondered “how I do it”, please know that a) we are a normal family and b) I am borderline insane. I’ve gone to the pantry for comfort when the kids aren’t napping. Yes, my kids don’t always nap. I throw tantrums. I lock the door when I’m in the bathroom so I can pee alone. I tattle on my own kids to my husband, wanting him to defend me, then remind them not to tattle. I’m by no means one of those wives and mothers who always has it together. The fact that my house is clean (probably never all at the same time) means that I’ve most likely ignored my kids or my husband to clean whatever needed cleaning, and I do that because I have a problem where I can’t relax if certain things aren’t done around the house. There are many more things I could confess, but I’m sure you get the point at least a little bit.

All I have out there to help me along is grace. I need grace daily. Multiple times daily. Grace shows itself to me about 1,000 times a day and the place I see it most is in my children. Their child-like faith in me causes grace to show itself when my 4 year old lights up when I get her from school, even though she was angry with me when I dropped her off. Grace is revealing itself to me when my 3 year old still wants a hug from me after I discipline him for hitting his brother. Kids are so quick to forgive! It’s grace at its finest! Grace that is available to everyone who asks for it. Every single time you ask for it. So, start asking if you don’t already, and you might just be surprised at what happens. When grace is given to me, it equips me to give grace to others around me. And God knows I need grace from others just as much as the next person. Even when we can’t see the many ways grace is given to us daily, we can still extend it to others because of what is stored up inside of us.

I decided that His mercies were not just new every morning, but — today — they were new at 12:42pm.

Posted in Faith, History of Me, Keepin' It Real, Kids, Relationships | No Comments »

Judgey McJudgerson

April 24th, 2012 by symmetricmom

I am going through that lovely part of the month where I feel like nobody likes me and everyone is judging me. I feel like the majority of the people I know all end up at events or birthday parties that we haven’t been invited to. I start to question my choices; from what I wear to how my kids look to where we live and wonder what it will take for the people I like to just accept me and want to hang out with my crazy brood.

In short, I lose my mind for a couple of days.

I forget that it takes time and effort to build friendships; not like in middle school where I met my best friend over a two minute conversation over Jonathan Brandis and gymnastics. That’s all it took. Seriously. We were inseparable for the next several years, even through most of the college years. A few fights? Of course! But it always got figured out.

Now-a-days, it feels like instead of fights over boys or lockers or whatever kids fight over these days, there are judgements that get in the way of friendships.

Sometimes, people just don’t like you. And that’s OK because there is usually a reason and it doesn’t always involve you. Someone heard something about you or even from you and just isn’t going to let you in very far because of it. Or maybe you have something they want or *think* they want and so they resent you. Or maybe they have been so hurt by other people that nobody is going to know their true self well, so they put on a show for everyone around them.

I’ve learned the hard way that my open-ness isn’t as refreshing to some as it is to others. But, you know what? That’s the way I am. I’m pretty sure that’s the way I’ve always been, too. I am the way God made me. Paul Tripp sums it up best (in my mind, at least) by saying: “Each of us has been gifted, called, and positioned to do our part in God’s kingdom work. Our histories, personalities, abilities, and maturity levels differ, which is how the Redeemer intends it. He is sovereign over it all.”

So, I dare you to just be who you are and see what happens. Because I know I’ll feel normal again in a few days thanks to PMDD symptoms going away, so I won’t really care if someone doesn’t invite me to their party because I am always invited to hang out with Jesus. I am always loved and adored and wanted by Him. I know that sounds cheesy, but I really don’t care. Jesus is the only One who isn’t going to judge me and will never make me feel left out. As much as I want to feel like I am friends with everyone and wanted by certain people or a certain group, which is my own sin to deal with, Jesus wants me all.the.time. And who am I to deny Him that? He made me, after-all, and He loves all of the things about me that I worry other people won’t like. So why in the world would I need anyone else?

Posted in Faith, Keepin' It Real, PMDD | 1 Comment »

Take a Drive

April 17th, 2012 by symmetricmom

I just got back from a drive.

Driving is one of my absolute favorite things to do when I need to clear my mind (whether angry or not) and de-stress, or just get some quick alone time with God. I think tonight it was all of those reasons. Nothing too crazy is going on, but every once in a while I realize just how busy we are. There are about 800 things that I walk past in our house each day that are not completely finished/cleaned/how I like them. There is always laundry, there are always dirty dishes, someone is always unhappy with the choice of that day’s activity. All of that is a blessing to me 99.9% of the time, believe it or not.

But today was that .1% for me for whatever reason. And, you know what? I’m OK with that!

After yelling at my daughter for yelling at me about the drama that is Spring Picture Day at Kindergarten (yes, Kindergarten. She is 6 and not 16 and I thought I had a few more years before we’d be arguing about clothes) I left it to my wonderful husband to put all 4 of them to bed because I had to get out of my house full of unfinished projects and ungrateful children and never-ending to do lists and just…….drive.

I’ve been driving at times like these for as long as I can remember. I remember the first drive I took like this, after going through a “difficult” break up at 16. Right down Rt.4 and over the Solomons Island Bridge for the first time as a licensed driver. The first big fight of our marriage. I now lived on the other side of the bridge so I drove down 235 until I hit Point Lookout, where the River meets the Bay. Several times since becoming a Mom, when I just couldn’t stand the noise anymore.

Tonight, I took the car (not the minivan), rolled down the windows (hair be damned!), and put on a new worship album I have been unable to stop listening to for the past 48 hours (thanks for telling me about The Brilliance, JTB!), and finally took a full and deep breath as I drove into the dusk of the day.

As I drive during these times, I just take in all that I can. I see the things around me that I never get to see when I’m with others in the car. I saw the sun setting. I saw wind moving through the trees. I smelled honeysuckle and fresh cut grass. Each breath I exhaled took some of the stress and anger away, and showed me the beautiful things about the day. My boy went pee pee in the potty for the first time ~ who cares if he had a few accidents earlier today? My daughter and I exchanged apologies before she went to bed ~ who cares that she didn’t like the dress I picked out?

When I drive, usually with no destination in mind, it’s the only time I can be still and know that He is God.

A 30 minute drive with Jesus and I felt like myself again for the first time in a couple of very busy days.

What do you like to do do relieve stress or calm yourself down during busy times?

Posted in Faith, History of Me, Keepin' It Real, Kids | 2 Comments »

A Farewell to Facebook

April 10th, 2012 by symmetricmom

I finally did it.

After several years on Facebook, I de-activated my account yesterday.

I must admit, it felt good! While I love all of the people I have re-connected with from school, and the new friends I’ve connected with, I found myself wasting a lot of time and getting sucked into facebook-stalking (aka: being a gossip) and I really didn’t want to do that anymore. Facebook was something I found myself checking first thing in the morning, several times during the day, while driving (don’t act like you don’t!), and before bed.

And I’m not even sure why.

I guess it could have been boredom, but I think it may have also been a touch of escapism, and I didn’t like that I was turning to the internet to escape the times I could have been reading books, studying scripture, getting ahead on cleaning or laundry, etc. Plus with all of the other sites out there that inspire me like Pinterest, various blogs, even my awesome Twitter friends, it was just internet overload. Ya know what I mean?

Something had to go. And since the internet isn’t going anywhere in our house because that’s how my husband brings home the tofu (we don’t eat bacon), I choose Facebook to go over this blog.

While I can’t promise I’ll be a daily blogger, I do hope that this is the place you come to find out what is going on with me and my family. Peace to you!

 

Posted in All things Blog, Keepin' It Real | 2 Comments »

Random Katie

March 14th, 2012 by symmetricmom

Hi. Anyone still there? I tend to go through stages where there is just too much or just not enough to write on this teeny little blog. Life is just too busy sometimes to take the time to discipline myself to sit here and write. Plus there is Pinterest…

Anyway.

~ I’ve been making friends in real life! Real, actual people to hang out with that don’t mind that I have 4 attachments because they have attachments of their own! They like coffee and have good advice and their husbands like my husband!

~ We aren’t moving! After years (literally) of praying about where God would have us move, we felt like He was instead telling us to stay. So, while we aren’t staying forever, we did agree that we just haven’t had the time to put into our home and therefore started seeing the annoying things about it. But we DO love it here, so we have been painting and landscaping and making it more our own. We have plans for new flooring and appliances in the work$, and are tackling smaller projects as we can. I hope to share some more soon!

~ My kid can READ. Y’all. I can’t even describe how cool it is when your kid comes home from school with a new book and READS IT TO YOU. It’s the coolest thing ever!! She has been reading us books every night before bed and it’s a nice change from the many years we’ve been reading to them, though I do miss it sometimes so I’ve been reading chapter books to them.

~ Cool things are happening at our church. As we’ve gotten more involved, things at church have been taking up some more time of ours (which is a GOOD thing) and it’s so exciting to see God moving in our city! As I’ve been sharing some of my redemption story, I’ve felt like I’ve been wanting to (somehow) help women realize their potential in God. So many people have similar stories to mine yet are afraid to share them because of the guilt or shame that accompanies sin. It has taken a long time for me to let my past go, but I finally feel like I’ve been delivered from that and look forward to helping others go through that process one day.

~ Trying to be the responsible 30 year old (yuck) that I am, I finally got in to see a dermatologist and have myself checked. I’ve never sat still enough to lay out in the sun, but spent plenty of time outside growing up and spend plenty of time out there now and noticed some new moles so I figured I should finally go. I had 4 moles removed and biopsied and am waiting to hear the results. Of course, two days after the removal, I woke up hardly able to move my neck (where one was removed) and thought it best to go in and make sure this was normal. Well…it wasn’t. So to add insult to injury, they stabbed my open wound with a q-tip for a few seconds (ouch) and sent the culture away to see what it was. Meanwhile, I’m on an antibiotic and have an antibiotic ointment to put on each wound. Gross.

~ We’ve been enjoying this mild winter and playing outside every chance we get. Before the pollen covers everything. Now that the kids are getting a little bit older, I can sit on the porch and read while watching them play. But they are so much fun I often end up out there playing with them!  For the longest time, the kids haven’t been allowed to leave the driveway but now the girls can ride their bikes down the street to one of the neighbor’s driveways. It’s a weird feeling for a parent. Giving them a little more freedom is both neat and scary!

~ We are finally through the first string of birthdays for the year. Within just weeks, we have 7 family birthdays (3 cousins included). It’s crazy, but fun! Each kid gets to decide where the family eats on their big day, as well as deciding what I get to make them for dessert. It’s pretty cool every year to hear their choices, and if you know my kids at all, you know they talk about and plan their birthday for the entire year prior. We’ve been listening to L (who was 5 last week!) say she wants Applebees for the last year and what does she decide on her big day? Panera Bread! Coming up in the second string of family days we celebrate Mother’s Day, my birthday, Father’s Day, and then B’s birthday (which is also our Anniversary) in the matter of a few weeks. Hoping we can get away for a few days to celebrate my sweet, sweet husband joining me in the 30′s!

There are some of the random things that we’ve been up to or that have been on my mind this last month that I’ve been silent on here. I hope you are all doing well.

:)

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

The post I’ve wanted to write FOREVER.

February 13th, 2012 by symmetricmom

There has been a post sitting in my drafts for a very long time. I’ve gone back and back to it and tried to add to it, delete from it, find quotes to put in it, etc.

Today, I finally ready a post someone else had written that perfectly represented what I want to say as a former single person to my single friends.

So I deleted my draft finally and am posting the link to this article with the whole dang thing posted below, so you have no excuse not to read this, friends!

Here’s the Link

And the whole article:

In Praise Of Singleness

BY DEACON HEATHER CARLSON

“Why are you single?”

“Oh, I know just who I want to set you up with.”

“Do you not want to get married?”

“Whatever happened to John? He seemed nice.”

“Mars Hill is such a big church—don’t you meet a lot of nice guys there?”

“Have you tried online dating?”

Eww, shudder. I always seem to be content enough with my singleness until people start to ask these questions. Don’t get me started on dating sites, which I just can’t bring myself to. And are people really suggesting I make my church a personal dating factory? How exhausting! Our friends and relatives mean well—they just want us to be happy, but it’s not all about finding a significant other.

But this is not a post about being discouraged when our friends and relatives ask these questions. So what’s a single gal to do?

Despite these awkward questions and perplexing dating sites, we single ladies have reason to celebrate: We have the amazing opportunity of using singleness to our full advantage. This is the season where time is ours and the Lord’s and we can serve others, build friendships, practice communicating well, relax and sleep whenever we want, and most importantly, grow in our relationship with Jesus.

Dating is not wrong or bad—it does help us find what we need in a husband and we learn how to just be in a relationship with the opposite gender. Yet it can be very easy to get into a relationship and make the person or the relationship my god. I have fallen to this plenty of times. I’ll admit, it was really great to go from “I” to “we” for a time. But I have also found that not becoming a habitual dater has helped me in a lot of ways: time for Jesus with few distractions, quality time with my female friends, more time for hobbies and serving, less temptation for sexual sin, less time wasted on men who aren’t going to push me closer to Jesus.

“And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” –1 Corinthians 7:34–35

We all have issues and sin in our life, and really, this is the time to work on them. It won’t get any easier if and when we get married or have kids. In fact, if you wait to work on them, you’re just bringing other people into your mess. What a disservice this is to our future families. I know I’ll never be perfect, yet I want to be healthy woman of God for my future husband and children.

I won’t deny that it can be difficult to be a woman in waiting. The fear of living alone forever does come about here and there, sometimes more here than there. I have struggled with spending all of my spare time selfishly. I reason, if I’m not married, then why would I bother thinking about it until I get there?

But, if I do get married one day, I know that after we say I do, I won’t automatically know how to communicate with my husband. I won’t magically start reading my Bible. I cannot expect my relationship with God to suddenly become easy and perfect. It takes work, and I need to use this time to do just that. And Jesus promises that married or single, he will be with us along the way.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” –Philippians 1:6

What will we bring to the marriage God has in store for us? If and when God puts us in a dating relationship, we want to be able to discern if this fellow is “the right one” and if he can lead us closer to the Lord. We also need to know who we are so we can be a good wife to our husband and mothers to our children. What kind of wife and mom might God call you to be one day? What is God calling you to do to prepare your heart now?

Singleness is the perfect time to practice getting to know who you are in Christ so you can bring your very best to a relationship, marriage, and parenthood.Marriage is not an identity. It defines our relationship status, not who we are. We are cherished daughters of the heavenly Father—that is our identity. He loves us and desires a relationship with us. He pursues us to no end. He wants us. No matter how amazing our future husbands will be, Jesus will always love us even more—that’s really amazing. Instead of the ultimate pursuit of dating, let’s strive for the ultimate pursuit: Jesus.

Heather Carlson is a deacon at the Ballard church.

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